Living Light: A Manifesto on How to Live Your TruthBy Confidence Edolor
Published: January 11, 2018
For the few years I’ve been on earth, I’ve realized that some of the things that stress and make our lives miserable are things that could have been easily avoided.
Life as we know it can be complicated. She’s doing bad all by herself.
That’s why it’s often a wonder to see people willfully make it worse.
There are already many things beyond our control—weather, time, background—but I’m sure we can work our way around others.
The same way we love to travel light, we can also learn how to live light—void of baggage and unnecessary complexities.
Let me show you how.
Who are you? What are your preferences, beliefs, and values?
Why do you do what you do?
Is it what you really want to do or what you think WE expect you to do?
If you’re not able to define these, you’d be tossed to and fro.
The world keeps changing. You can’t afford to keep changing with it.
Your methods and strategies can be altered every now and then but you can’t keep being everything to everyone every time.
Trust me, you’d be stressed out doing that.
And that’s me putting it mildly.
A worst case scenario is, you’d get lost in the crowd.
You’d have no voice or say.
You don’t know who you are nor what you stand for, so you go with the flow.
You do what everyone wants and because we’re over a billion people on earth, naturally you’d suck at it because that feat is impossiCAN’T.
Stay true to who you are, hon.
Everyone else would be fine.
Watch Out for Trends
You really do not need to keep up with the Joneses all the time.
It’s okay if you’re not that into makeup.
We all ain’t cut out for the ombre lips, contour and the rest of them.
It’s fine to go natural.
You don’t have to wear nor put on a particular cloth because it’s in vogue.
You do not have to if you do not want to.
The world won’t stop because you didn’t ‘participate’.
My life as a single lady is already filled with many ups and downs. I deal with unanswered questions, disappointments, responsibilities, expectations, yet-to-be-fulfilled dreams and decisions that have to be made quickly. That’s fine. It’s nothing unusual. But I’ve had to wonder, “What if I had HYPER relationship problems to deal with too?” Oh, my! I’d just go out of my mind!
How a relationship which is supposed to be a tale of love and bliss suddenly turns into domestic violence, blackmail and depression is something I may never understand. No, I’m not saying good relationships are problem-free. What I’m saying is if your troubles have doubled, tripled or even quadrupled as a result of your relationship with a particular person, then it’s time for a rethink.
It is better to be alone than in bad company, dear.
Live Within Your Means
There’s this confidence and peace that comes with being able to hold your head up high knowing that you owe no one nothing. Not the clothes on your back. Not the shoes on your feet. You owe no one. (Ok, maybe your elder sister. *winks*)
In living light, you have to know what you really need as well as what you can afford at every stage of your life and be bold enough to own it.
You certainly do not need to go borrowing to impress us.
You’ve been friends with someone since childhood but now that you’ve grown, your interests do not align anymore. She doesn’t seem to understand you but finds fault and constantly puts you down. Friendship is not a ‘do or die affair’.
Let it go. Keep your space (read as sanity). Meet up once in a while but please, eliminate from your inner circle.
“…but I’ve known her all my life. What would people think about me?”
Well, that’s the problem right there. You care too much about everyone else but yourself.
Hey. Your friend will be fine. Eventually.
Unhealthy Competition and Comparison
Now, tell me.
How is it that you‘re alright until you meet a high school classmate who now has the latest ride in town? How is it that you’re only depressed when you read on social media of someone else’s achievement? You go, “Poor me! If only I were half as smart as Wendy.”
Honey, if you ever wanna have your mind at rest, think YOU.
Be consumed with YOUr growth.
Walk at YOUr pace.
They say, “life’s a race” and I agree only to the extent that the only person to outrun is you—the you of yesterday.
That, dear girlfriend, is how to live light, healthy and sane.
Learn to Say ‘No’
There is no point saying ‘yes’ to doing something your heart is not in. Saying ‘yes’ is okay but say ‘no’ when you should.
Be firm. Do not be intimidated. Do not be manipulated. Do not be emotionally blackmailed.
That part of you that likes to please and see others happy would be uncomfortable especially if you’ve never said ‘no’ before but don’t worry about it.
You’d be alright. You’d be fine.
You only live once, dear.
Take charge daily.
Live life well.
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- Living Light: A Manifesto on How to Live Your Truth - January 11, 2018